THE DREAM BETRAYED AND DISSAPOINTED

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

In my dreams life this one is unusual. In the dream I went to sleep and had a dream that told me not to go into a pub as my life was in danger.

In the dream I was a voluntary support worker for an old priest close to the end of his life. Although I can't recall what he was teaching me I know I valued my time with him. It was when he had to go away I went to sleep and had my prophetic dream that I should not go into a pub.

I spoke to the old priest about it and I recall him helping me understand it so I decided to trust the inspiration and was happy not to go in a pub. I was with a group who were studying under the priest telling some close to me about my dream. As I was talking a lady in the group I had no animosity toward and thought I got along with approached me and stabbed me with a syringe full of blood infecting me with HIV virus. She was vindictive and spiteful. As the dream closed I was left perplexed and wondering what would motivate such behavior. I knew I could not take back what had been done and decided I had to make the best of my life as I may be lucky and not prove positive to HIV. I would have to wait three month.

It was only after I had been stabbed I noticed the meeting had been held inside a pub so my dream inside my dream had proved true.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION Three days ago I began a three month course based on the AA principals but following a Christian path. It was designed by an elderly man who has had a long ministry with people who have suffered abuse and fallen into life patterns of self destructive behaviors.

I really struggle with my obesity and I am determined to break the self defeating binge eating pattern that I can control most of the time. I have break outs when I feel emotionally overloaded and that is the real stronghold I want to break into and over come when it comes to my own internal dynamics.

Having failed to overcome my own behaviors I have now asked for help.

I recently asked my doctor if I can come in for three monthly consults to keep me on track and she is very supportive of me. I have a target to reach but my self defeating behaviors seem to get the upper hand most of the time. At the moment my weight is stable but I am skating along the edge of a breakout in bad behavior and I don't want to behave that way any more.

Yesterday I had to make contact with a friend and tell her what I was doing. I needed a support person to walk beside me for the next three months. My friend was very happy to help and asked if she could put my name on the prayer chain. I was surprised by the offer but figured it is all positive and in the direction I want to go.

Given dreams are about me it seems to me my dream has created a character that I have no grievance against but she has a grievance against me. I need to accept these behaviors I am confronting are a life long pattern and they will resist my will to change them by whatever means they can. I know in my heart I have honestly tried to understand this part of me but I cannot agree with her point of view. We do not share the same mindset and of us both I am now strong enough to confront her and say no.

Sitting here now I haven't changed my mind. The dream showed me the behavior is against my life. I need this change so I can live the life I want to live.

I guess I am disappointed that I have to deny this part of me for the sake of the whole of me. I didn't know facing change this time means letting go of parts of my persona that no longer work for me. I am sure there are some more challenging dreams to face in the days ahead.

Posted at www.Dreamsymbolism.info April 30, 2012, 18:01 by iceberg rose