THE DREAM I noticed I was dreaming when I heard my own voice say "Give me the knife - I will do it." As I looked down I saw the head of the sacred cow and I slit its throat from ear to ear skilfully with commitment and purpose.

That was the original dream and all I could recall of it. I found it opened the door to nightmarish images for me.

In the dream I asked myself "What is this sacred cow I am killing?" and a whole lot of images came that I found confusing. The hardest one was the face of my neighbour that kept coming and grinning at me. In the awake world he has an intellectual disability that leads him to smiling all the time so I can never read his facial expression to guage what he is actually telling me by what he is saying.

It is confusing trying to understand someone who is not all there as the saying goes. In the dream my will was to understand him but trying to led me down a path of activity and relationships I did not want.

The dream did not seem to resolve my conflict on this occasion.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION On the weekend we took about 17 computers to the dump that were related to the work I used to do. I have not been emotionally able to let them go till now and when I could I just did it. They had been customised to my business and had unique software I paid to have created so it was like dumping $50,000.00 dollars for me at a cost level and represented 15 years of my unique vision dumped.

That was definitely my sacred cow gone.

The neighbour came over in the middle of this and asked if he could have two of the old computers. My husband delt with him and we agreed he could have them. I selected two that were blind computers in that you could use them to access the main file server but they did not have data on them even though they had a hard drive for local use.

Even though I made the call I was very anxious about this as there may be a file or two on them I have forgotten were important as it is more than 9 years since they were in use. I did not want my decision to come back and haunt me as I just wanted them gone now I had decided to let them go.

Two days later this neighbour came back and shared he had got them going. With his disability he can be quite childlike. He wanted me to see what he had done and I found his request hard to refuse at a humane level. I went into the house finding he had rebooted the lot but now they needed a boot disc to get going and he wanted the disc. At this point his intellectual disability was clearly manifest to me and I realised that for me to help him I would need to access my networks and ask a favour. This was something I definitely did not want to do as I had let this computer scenario go when I took them to the dump. Now it was back to haunt me.

For me this is what this dream is about. I am still concerned I will be asked again for help and now I regret saying yes to giving my neighbour my rubbish. It is growing into a new nightmare for me. Not like the old one but a nightmare for me all the same.

I have made a firm resolve that I can not go back into my old workspace again for my own healths sake. This scenario is a temptation to get dragged back into it again and I do not want to.

The conflict is that the man has an obvious disability and I feel mean denying him support because I can see it would be a long term investment of my emotional energy I do not want to give. I have renounced my nursing vocation because it was killing me. Going back into anything like that kind of work will kill me I feel. Hence the nightmarish images in my dream.

Posted at www.Dreamsymbolism.info September 25, 2012, 16:02 by Iceberg Rose (Viewed times)

Unclesirbobby (POSTED September 25, 2012, 20: 2: 55)
Well you have to be ruthless with your neighbour. If he could have sorted out the computer himself then it would be fine but clearly he cannot so you end up spending time and energy in a commitment you do not want.